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She starts playing with my hair and I worry. She's been quiet too long now, and Carly likes to ramble, I mean sometimes you just cannot get the girl to shut up, so it's never a good sign when she's quiet. It means she's thinking, and nothing good ever came out of people thinking."Sam...." Her voice is slow, hesitant and I turn to look at her.Her eyes are on my face, all big and dark, and she's chewing her lip, looking concerned. I feel that hard little ball bearing tremble and heat up, start to expand, but I shove it back together. I can't fall apart now. I've worked too hard to keep her."What's going on with you? Is- is it your mom?"And I laugh softly, because it's never been my mom. That's sort of what she's known for – not being anything. And I wish I could tell her – tell her that I love her, and that it's killing me. But I'm scared. And I know, I'm Sam Puckett and I'm not afraid of anything! But I'm scared of this. So it's easier to just look away and pretend things are fine.. Closeness can be in care, in physical love, emotional love, one-mindedness, all our emotions, all our fears, and so many other dimensions. It’s not singular. This was another dimension. Feeling close to her as we spoke with God felt like all the dimensions were pulled together. Yes, I felt ... we felt closer than ever!Laura and I returned to the couch. We were tired, overflowing, overwhelmed, overcome, and emotionally spent for the night. It was glorious. “You’ve Got Mail” was just starting so we put it on. I sat at the end of the couch and Laura snuggled into me. Tonight we didn’t need to talk. We stared at the screen only half watching the movie we had both seen multiple times.Laura laid her head on my lap and I stroked her hair, rubbed her shoulders and back. She was asleep in minutes and I just took in the lovely sight of her peaceful face. Even in sleep, she smiles. I pondered and reflected on how blessed I was at the moment and drifted off to sleep myself.Laura woke up before I.
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